Yet Another Eddie Gibbons Lookalike

Playlist

Copies of the Aligees playlist are winging their way through cyberspace.

Poets are beavering.

Ideas are hatching.

In less than three weeks we take the stage.

Cor.

Here's Our Card

Elaboration

Guinness
Cake
Monkfish Tails
Wine
Dancing
Wine
Talking
Wine

Rehearsing

Meeting writers

More of above

Repeat to point of exhaustion

What The Alis Weren't Prepared For

Ali: I'll give him his Laudanum.
Ali: But what about his Preparation H?
Alis: *whistle nervously and stare at the ceiling*

Aside

Ali: is it time for G's medication?

Aligees in Rehearsal - Scene #12

G: What's the difference between 2 Alis and a terrorist?
Alis: uh?
G: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Aligees in Rehearsal - Scene #11

G: OK, which genius forgot to bring a bog roll?
Ali: Stop moaning - there's a pile of your books on the cistern.
Ali: That's what we've been using.
Ali: It was so considerate of your publisher to have the pages perforated.

Aligees in Rehearsal - Scene #10

An Ali: But it hath no public transport on the Sabbath.

G: Should I wear a black polo neck jumper for gigs,
or my 'Young, Free and Pringle' golf sweater?

A Ali: Golf's wetter in winter.

A Different Ali: It's time to close the curtains on this session.

Aligees in Rehearsal - Scene #9

Ali: We are not philosophers - we are poets. Our only aim is to be mad, bad and dangerous to know. Or is that dangerously mad and bad to know? We go to Ullapool because it's got three hells, two ohs, a pee and a ewe.

Aligees in Rehearsal - Scene #8

G: The burning question of the day is: what is the Aligees philosophy?
What is our Raisin Debt? Why are we doing this? Who's paying for it? Whose round is it?

Aligees In Rehearsal - Scene # 7

Other Ali - *Gins and scribbles*

Aligees in Rehearsal - Scene #6

G: *dribbles, scores and grins*
1-0

Aligees In Rehearsal - Scene # 5

Ali: *grins and dribbles*

The Aligees in Rehearsal - Scene #4

G: I'm surrounded by idiots!

The Aligees In Rehearsal Scene - # 3

In a cottage in Ullapool. There are no modes of public transport passing.

Ali - psst Ali
Ali - *looks up from typing at laptop*
Ali - why does &G persist in characterising us as hard drinking mean muthas?
Ali - hmm - is it how he'd like to see us?
Ali - perhaps *runs finger along sole of doc marten*
Ali - fancy a G&T?
Ali - why not?

The Aligees in Rehearsal - Scene #2

G: They say every poet has a sliver of ice in the core of his heart.
Ali: My sliver’s in the core of my whisky.
Other Ali: Hi Ho Sliver, I’ll drink to that.
G: How are we going to rehearse if you two are permanently pissed?
Ali 1: We are going to rehearse pissed because we give the readings pissed.
Ali 2: We couldn’t get on stage and bear our soles if we were sober.
G: Souls, that should be souls.
Ali 2: No - SOLES.
The soles of my Doc Martens in your stupid Scouse gob.

The Aligees in Rehearsal - Scene #1

Ali: So, here we are then.
Ali: Shall I put the kettle on?
G: Do you think it will suit you?
Alis: *uck *ff back to Liverp**l you usel*ss Sc*use g*t.
G: Have you ironed my shirts yet?
Alis: *uck *ff back to Liverp**l you usel*ss Sc*use g*t.
G: What shall we do to entertain the troops?
Ali: Tie you to a wheel and throw knives?
Ali: Form a pyramid?

Stop Press...

Special guests at our Fringe De La Aberdeen Wordfringe gig in the Jazz Bar, Edinburgh, will be Peter Daddy Hoodie Burnett on guitar and larynx, and Mr. Sean Bradley, doyen of Thirsty Books, who will be reciting poems scribed by his own fair keyboard.

Drink might be involved.

Guests are reminded that the turns cannot accept invitations for them to buy a round, as refusal often offends.